Monday Morning Post: Confidence in the Face of Doubt

Hey guys! Bea here!

One of the most terrifying games for me, as a child, was Resident Evil 3: Nemesis, because there was never a game that had made me feel so utterly helpless against the oncoming threat, Nemesis himself.

For those of you who never played Resident Evil 3, the Nemesis is this monstrous creature, that throughout most of the game, whenever he appeared, the best option was always to run, or slow him down so you could. You could try to fight the monster, buuuuut

The chances of it ending in your favor were zero >_<.

Nemesis was an unstoppable force– and when he was coming after you, nothing could stand in his way. No doors and no windows could stop him. The only way out was to run and make it to the next checkpoint, losing him, before he could catch up to you.

Though the Nemesis in the game is a fictional character, I firmly believe that the concept is real in most people’s lives. He may come in the form of a bad habit, depression,  or even doubt- hunting you down and crippling you in the most inopportune times. Naturally, when most people encounter their Nemesis, they feel helpless… It seems easier to run than to fight because the odds are more likely in your favor… right?

Despite the odds that the main character of the game was up against… even as every encounter with the nemesis became more frightening than the last, she never just gave up. **Spoiler alert** At the end of the last boss fight against the Nemesis, you’re left with two choices:  Exterminate the Monster, or Ignore it and Evacuate **End of Spoiler**

My nemesis is Doubt. If I don’t keep it in check, or stomp it out, it can convince me that I’m not good enough. That I’m not experienced enough, or qualified enough. That I’m broken because of all the abuses I’ve suffered and that I shouldn’t even try. Some of my closest friends battle with doubt too. If we’re not careful, and we allow doubt to win, we can close the same doors that others have opened for us- shooting down opportunities, in favor of our excuses.

Choosing to fight the monster, in this case, doubt–or ignore it, can literally be the difference between success or failure BEFORE you’ve even given yourself a chance at either.

So when Steven came to me and asked me to illustrate the covers of comics I shared in the previous post,  there was a moment when I doubted myself and wanted to say no, because I was afraid that I wasn’t good enough, even though it’s obvious he believed that I was. Otherwise, why ask me?

Looking back, I’m glad I chose to fight my Nemesis that day. If I hadn’t, I would have shut the door on myself, and would have never eliminated the lack of experience as an excuse…

And I would not be sharing one of these with you today!

Robyn.jpg

Grimm Fairy Tales: Robyn Hood

Though I believe it works to my credit, I’m one of those people who has a haaard time being simple, when it comes to my work. That, and I’m a borderline perfectionist. Taking those two things into consideration, even though the space on the sketch cards is limited– It’s difficult for me to simply do an artistic portraiture. Instead, I want to create a card-sized comic book cover, in full detail =_=.

I am annoyed somewhat, by my own incessant need to get crazy with the details, while being a perfectionist about it.  But I have to say, of all the cards this one turned out to be my favorite in terms of composition, which I put a lot of thought into.

Many don’t know this about my work, but I do a lot of planning and research prior to putting pen to paper. Even with simple sketch cards, a great deal of time is spent trying to find the right pose, the right angle, the right reference images, the right colors, ETC. Though I’ve gotten pretty good at finding what I need, sometimes the process can be very daunting or frustrating when I can’t get things to look the way I want them to. It’s at these times, that my old Nemesis “Mr. Doubt” comes to pay me a visit…

want to find out what happens next? Stay tuned for the next episode of The Young and the Restless Bea: Doubt’s Return!

lol Anyway, I’d like to thank you for reading, and I hope you look forward to the next Monday Morning Post. As always, till next time, enjoy!

 

 

 

 


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